I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
