Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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