WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
