Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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