i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
