all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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