Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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