Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
