Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
