We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
