Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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