dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
