Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
