yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
