I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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