Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize