If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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