is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
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