She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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