I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What a dumb baby whore.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
