and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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