i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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