margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
