Cold hands, warm shart.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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