We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize