That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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