I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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