What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
