I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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