i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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