I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
