I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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