I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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