the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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