last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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