Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
