i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
