if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
did i walk over a car last night?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
