i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize