im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
