i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
