she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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