the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Someone signed my nipple.
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