I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You made out with two different species that night
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
