I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
