sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
