just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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