You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
