I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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