This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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