im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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