I look better un-naked...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
