It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
