i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize