So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
