I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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