uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
