Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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