She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
so much tequila, so little girl.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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