I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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